Spiritual clarity is a terrifying thing.
To know - know - that you have fooled yourself for years, that even now you still stubbornly resist God's plan for you.
To know that you are the author of all your sufferings, that those you blame for your faults and injuries are guiltless.
To know what you are, to see all your myriad faults laid bare before you.
To know that you are young, that you can still heal and be healed, To know that you have been given a gift, to catch the faintest glimpse of what you are called to be, that you must embrace that gift.
Light, after years of darkness, is terrifying. Antiseptic burns the wounds it helps to heal. Whatever this is, it hurts, and hurts like wildfire. Pray God I can bear it and withstand the test.
Please pray for me - I rarely ask your prayers, but need them now, and need them badly. God bless you, dear readers.