Defining Sport

The egalitarian tendencies of modern feminism induces otherwise intelligent individuals to argue breathtakingly ridiculous positions. Take this article, which essentially posits that women are capable of challenging men in sports like baseball, tennis, etc. (Read the comments if you want a rebuttal.)

This article does spark the question of what exactly constitutes a sport in the first place. I am about to share some highly provocative and speculative thoughts on this topic, which have sparked several family disagreements.

So now, as punishment for my family’s rejection of my infinite wisdom, I inflict my infinite wisdom on you. (The faint of heart or easily offended should probably leave now.) Here are my criteria for what constitutes a sport:

           1. A sport must involve moderate-to-intense physical activity and some level of human locomotion. This eliminates horse racing, auto racing, boating, and other events where the mode of locomotion is machine or animal powered. This also eliminates games such as darts, archery, and other contests which measure aim and accuracy.

            2. A sport must have a measure of scoring that depends on objective means. This eliminates gymnastics, figure skating, and other contests dependent upon the whims of judges.

      3. The ELITE males in a sport must ALWAYS be better than the ELITE females in a sport. This point, as you will find, merely reinforces the first two points.

      For those of you who made it to the end without throwing a brick through their computer, I congratulate you.  For those of you offended by what you perceive to be blatant sexism: